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"Free Spirit"

“Free Spirit” is the title of this little 4”x10” pastel. I am a very timid person. I have always admired people’s ability to undertake what I consider risky behavior. The appeal of skydiving, parasailing, even downhill skiing has never come to me.  When you are born with the ability to visualize in detail, certain activities don’t seem appealing, especially since part of my science studies included how the body heals. Although I can visualize the fun and excitement of extreme activities [at least extreme to me!] I can also visualize, in great detail, the damage to my body if I failed in my attempts at them.

In one area, however, I am fearless… it’s in my creative ability to visualize. When I designed the room makeovers in our home, rooms that were gutted to the studs, they turn out just as I envisioned them. Visitors are surprised that I, not an architect, designed my 1200 square foot studio addition [with input from my husband, of course]. After redesigning the rest of the house, rooms and interiors, the studio seemed simple. I realize that not everyone would go ahead and ‘just do it’ due to the fear of not having the skills to “make it right” and that they might worry that their efforts might lead to failure. Not attempting skydiving because of those same fears keeps me from trying it. With design, however, I don’t focus on my ‘not having the skills’ to make it right, I focus on designing until I do make it right.  My strength is not in having a free spirit but in having a creative spirit.

The creative spirit cannot let the fear of failure dissuade it. Pushing myself to get out of my ‘safe zone of art’ is no different than someone getting on that plane to skydive for the first time. Well… there is that risk of a death-defying act that I don’t have to undergo, but you get the idea. Just as the skydiver does not focus on the parachute not opening, colliding with another diver or breaking a leg on impact, I don’t focus on the fact that the paintings that I create will not be successful. Focusing on the positive not the negative works best for me when creating art. I don’t view creating artwork in a new style or medium as a waste of time if it is unsuccessful, I view it as an opportunity to learn something new. The skydiver focuses on doing the right things to make their dive successful and FUN. They need to learn the techniques that will allow them to do what they want to do. Focusing on learning new techniques without worrying if a painting will turn out lets me try new mediums and new supports while having FUN. Finding out that new genres are much more fun than I thought that they would be is somewhat like the reluctant first-time skydiver finding out the fun of their first dive. The excitement of the anticipation of trying it again is something that we both share.

In our early years of marriage, I bought damaged antiques that were very cheap and brought them back to life by refinishing them. I could ‘see’ their potential. Creating recipes by visualizing the outcome from the flavors of different food combinations is an undertaking that I greatly enjoy and often paint. This ability to creatively visualize allowed me to work on painting compositions in my head while I drove to work, whether still life, landscape, wildlife and floral designs.  Now that I am in my studio full-time, I find myself continuing to do this. My creative spirit involves utilizing my strengths and downplaying my weaknesses. Figuring out which is what is the fun part of creating artwork.

Although I will never have the gift of a free spirit, I am happy to have a creative spirit that allows me to share the free spirit of others.